Meeting our own expectations

Updated: Jan 31, 2020

a woman feeling let down
Meeting our own expectations

We are only human, so its expected that we feel disappointed now and then. Things don't always work out the way we hoped they would. When our own expectations are high, or when others expectations of us seem out of reach, we feel let down and disappointed when they are not met.

Expectations are based on our own thoughts and beliefs of a desired outcome, rather then the reality of the outcome itself. If our expectations of a situation, goal or person is not met, we experience a great sense of frustration and disappointed which in turn undermines our beliefs. The greater our expectation of ourselves or others, the greater the disappointment, and the greater the negative impact.

As children we can often feel the pressure from parents who have 'high expectations' of our capabilities and future achievements, especially if they themselves suffered disappointment due to their own expectations of themselves. Finding ways to manage are own expectations of situations and outcomes, helps to protect against feelings of disappointment, low self-esteem and anxiety over the result. Managing our expectations has a positive impact on our happiness because the less disappointment we have in our lives, the happier we feel. Even in relationships, any high expectations of our partner, or their high expectations of us, can cause conflict and put the relationship under stress. Disappointed due to high expectations can really damage our ego and can feel very personal.

Our expectations come from our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us.

Being mindful and finding positive ways to manage our expectations supports us from the negative impact of constantly being let down and feeling disappointed, to the point where we might just give up. We can still think positive, be optimistic, set our intentions, practice visualisation and law of attraction, without our expectations being unrealistic or to high.

What you can do:

1. Think about the possible outcomes first. 2. Explore any beliefs behind your expectations.

3. Are there any patterns of disappointment due to past expectations?

4. Discuss your and others expectations of an outcome in advance. 3. What do you need to have happen? What alternatives are there. 4. What would happen if you didn't experience the best outcome? 5. Do not get attached to the outcome. 8. Be ok with not knowing for sure what the outcome might be, just know that what ever it is, you will be ok.

Over time, it will become easier to learn to manage your expectations and others. When this happens you will experience less disappointment.

Love and light,


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